Pioneer

I can't remember exactly what this Illustration was for. Sometime in 1991 I did a series of Christian Book covers of Pioneers of the Christian Faith for Barbour Publishing. This must be one. Technique was an experiment of Oil rubbed background with an airbrushed figure. Pioneer country side where the local church was the center of civilization. Rivers flowed languidly, calmly through the woods.The solitary Preacher facing the task before him. Air in his face, heat and strain of the elements, as He rides his horse through the hills, already a hint of arthritis in his finger bones. Gee I'm glad I wasn't born in those days! I'd have been a rather sissy Pioneer!

This guy looks sort of sissy himself though.

UNBALANCED

Call it a silver lining. Or maybe my ships come in. Thanks to the film industry going to casting "real people" types. I no longer remotely resemble my once glamours days, now I can be a real Character Actor. I auditioned for a "Librarian" last week in a major SAG feature film. This week I fully expect a call-back. I've not been reading tea leaves, but I think I'll book this role. I don't compete with the star in the scene. I now have the ability to go under the radar just enough to not become a silhouette. It's a real talent who can feel unnoticed while still feeling important in the scene. It's a little unbalanced to a trained actor wanting to be discovered to now go in and try to be undetected. Now that's acting! I'm getting this one!!!!!

SKINNY

Here's the 'Skinny". Did you ever notice how often people say things they don't mean? "I'm a private person." Anyone who is truly a private person doesn't have to say so at all. They just are. My friend AnnMarie and I really look out for each other. Now we don't declare it, or even elude to such. We just do it! I have her best interest at heart and she has mine. That's the 'Skinny". As actresses that's a little unusual too. A few years back I met AnnMarie. She became a true confidant and a monumental giver in my life. Her generosity and similar taste have carved out an urban friendship as comfortable as my rural grandparents home.

Saturday we spent the morning in Austin attending our standard Casting Director acting class. We then each went to an audition. Then we drove down to Austin's resturant area and sat on the patio filled with beautiful weather and beautiful ladies. We ate chips and salsa, laughed and shared more of our dreams as working SAG actors. Non stop talking on the two and half hour drive back to Houston is always a highlight of our time spent sharing our hearts.

FAST

Everything seems to be moving FAST around me. But I'm standing still. Holidays are approaching, life's wizzing by, everything's a b-l-uuu--rrrr.

I'm in a funk that I'd like to escape out of FAST!!!!! Time to get my rear in end in gear.

FROZEN - IF

My computer keeps "freezing" up!!!! I found this old airbrushed illo. for this weeks submission. Hopefully if I unsubscribe to ads (which seem to be the culpruit), I'll be freed up! Stay Cool!

Flying

After FLYING in last week it seems all I've done is to continue to FLY around. Getting settled back in after a long vacation. Laundry, e-mails answered, bills paid, last minute auditions, on and on. I don't know quiet what to do with myself. I remembered this old 'airbrushed' illustration I did many years ago. The boy dreaming of flying made me feel peaceful again.

Patterns & Methods

This watercolor is from a romance novel I painted several years ago. I had so much freedom with this piece. Would I choose watercolor, airbrush, or pastel. For this piece I decided on watercolor. Very much like acting choices. Will I choose The Method, Misner's Technique or pattern a dozen physical quirks to find my way in ? Pick up a small piece of something there, open up an emotion here, I have such freedom! So many patterns and methods!

Breaking Barriers

Broke through a barrier yesterday! I had prepared for a crying scene audition for 5 days. Yesterday I had to deliver. I wasn't exactly sure if I could pull up what I needed to get to 'the place'. I think I did pretty great! I didn't quite get to the sobbing level I acheived in rehearsal, but overall it was really good. The way in for me was a song. I went in to the hallway. The waiting area was busy and distracting. Once by myself I started to sing softly "Because HE Lives". I can never get to the "I can face the future" part before the words are stuck in my throat. That song along with preparation, preparation, preparation, so much dialog!!! I think I reached a new level of artistic excellence. When I was called in everything was right there, at the ready. Kim Bassinger says, "As an actress, you have to come to a point of jumping over your fears and going through the glass doors." Yes, I walked right through to the other side.

Awesome things are happening! I've had 4 auditions in 6 days! The journey on the Texas Highways has been rainy but inspiring! I bought the Bible on tape by Gregory Peck. I'm driving , then all of a sudden I'm Scout sitting on the porch swing with Atticus teaching me how to wear the armor of God. Very cool! The sun peeks out every now and then; Just long enough to see a poodle with a ball on it's nose in the clouds, or is that a bear? My first stop on Wed. is the Palormar Hotel in Dallas for a film about Texans in a Texaco ex-pat compound in Trinidad. My character is unhappy and aloof. I think I did great! We'll see. Next day, Thursday, to Arlington where I revealed a lot of things about myself (on tape even) I usually keep private. But it was very freeing! I think I feel better. Friday was a free day in Dallas just strolling and taking in the sights. Saturday was a very Texan baby shower. So many characters, Even got a hair-do for my Texas Secretary character I'll use on Monday. Sunday with Del Shores, "Daddy's Dyin Who's Got The Will?" and "Sordid Lives". WOW !!! Great stuff. Wonderful experience. Drove home on Sunday evening in the gray rain, gray sky and gray road. Definitely need new contacts soon! Today I went to Austin for a "Friday Night Lights" audition. I sure felt like I naled it, I hope so.

Staying in this evening and catching up on home life. Life is good!

Magnified Pale

September first is magnified in Texas. It's when the air holds the warmth of the summers heat into the afternoons sunlight. Every color turnes into a shade of pale gray. All lonely things are magnified now. There have been no auditions for me since July 7th. I think of Jesus, He knows my thoughts and keeps me from fading away. I don't want to know the future anymore. I only want to erase the soft decay of my dreams, draining the purpose from the marrow of my bones. It's unspoken hope, magnified.

Food For A Hungry Actors' Soul

Saturday I arrived at my early morning Audition Tech. Class wishing I had more energy. It didn't take long before scripts were handed out, the work was taped and we were ready for the playbacks. I felt sorry for all of us as I sat on the green slick sofa, each waiting on our turn. The respected Casting Director began her critique. I nodded each time I agreed with her. She paused the screen to talk about the actors work that had just played. The glaring face on the paused screen was mine. I was next. Play was pushed. My heart was pounding as I prayed silently, "Jesus help me accecpt her words as part of my growth." Pause was pushed, all stared at me. "Kay, what do you think?," came from her tough cigarrette raspy voice. I have to answer, there's nothing I can do about it. "Well, I'm not blinking as much," I answer. She booms out, "Well I would upload that to the producers without any hesitation! Good work Kay!" Play started on the next actors' clip. Now my prayer is, "God help me no to cry." Tears suppressed, I feel as if I were just fed a delicious delicacy. I normally come from a place with a padlock on the pantry. I continue to sit on the green sofa, ankels crossed, posture erect, mind racing, tears supressed trying not to twist things around in my mind. Just remember the tasty words.

After class, I drove over Austin's loopy freeways to a singing class I signed up for on a whim. I've always sang. It's just natural for me. Mostly I sing for myself. Lately I've noticed as I share my voice I'm feeling more confident. Once I put 'singing' on my resume' I'd better have some things on hand to sing!

Adreinne was 50ish, bare footed and full of energy I craved. Her voice began to buzz like flies that wouldn't land. "Follow me, sing this note, make this sound", she began to move vocally as well as squating into plie's. I followed, mocking her sounds and moves, as instructed. Concentrating, actively involved in the 'Simon Says' game, when she stops, turns, head tilted, hands on hips, says, "You have perfect pitch!"

God has entered the room, looked right through me as my tears are flowing this time. "Are you crying because you've never been told that before? Is this your first affirmation? But surely you know this.", her words spilling out, feeding me more. I'm a very hungry soul being fed 'stick-to-your-ribs' meals today!

Then she asked me to sing the jazz song I brought to work on. I do. "What else do you sing?", she asked. I uncomfortably admit, "Well, with my guitar, I sound more like Loretta Lynn." "Ah,Ha! You already have your own style! A jazz-country mix, that's very unique! What a gift you've been given," I'm hearing her say. I continue to devour this meal being served. I have to stop scarfing this! I should try to cut it up in small divided cubes, eat it slowly, take it in, feel the calories filling my emotions, entering my hearts bloodstream, undiluted, making me high! I'm no longer in the room with the locked out food supply. Hunger will not dominate my every moment . I am full, I'm fed with the mana from God! Thank you Lord!

Rehearse, MODIFY, Audition, MODIFY, Camera Ready!

Being prepared requires a lot of Auditions, Rehearsing, Modifications and Tweaking. If you walk away from an audition and don't feel 100% sure of yourself, you most likely were not prepared enough. I have an audition today! I've been modifing my character for 3 days. I'll even tweak her and flesh her out a little more today. Whatever you're doing, if you're focused exactly on the task, that's preparation. It's a way of being very peaceful and confident in bringing your character to live. If you don't book the role, that's because of something outside your control, a look , a match to the other actors, whatever.

This was a pencil for an educational magazine.

IDLE

It ran across my mind today, driving Hwy 290 to Austin and back, for an acting workshop, that I have 'Idle" time! What a luxury... albeit I may be driving these idle times, but they still exsist. Thing is, my mind is NEVER idle. Today for instance, I learned two new songs, a few more scriptures, wrote and tweaked a one woman show! In the car I'm a star ! I'm never Idle.

Back in 2003 I did this watercolor. These were days when I had no idle time, only deadlines to meet! It was for a romance novel. My model was perfectly idle, the setting was calm, almost sacred, I loved the finished art.

TANGO !!!!

I usually try and combine the Illustration Friday word prompt with my Acting Blog once a week. This week the word is "Tango". How perfect! Finding just the right dance partner! Just the right role! Just the right Director! It all has to flow to be compelling enough to keep the audience engaged. When the audition comes and you walk in to perform in one sweeping motion, you know it's excellent. You've prepared and practiced every dance move in the scene over and over. Now the Director has the call backs. He has to love the way you move, the way your voice sounds, the way you look for the part, who you are in his dance.

Recently I was dissapointed to learn about a role I wanted that was being offered to a real veteran actress. The same week I learned I got the part playing a veteran actress in another movie! A lot of twirlling's involved in this acting dance.

Keep smiling, drawing and dancing with the stars!

Hollow Words

To the flatterer speaking hollow words is just part of the routine I guess. To an actor, they're messing with my life! As an actor, I've worked hard to find a process into the character, living their life and trying to connect to the wholness of the story in a 3 minute audition; even though I have only a part of the story to share. Over the years I've painstakingly discovered as well as radomly stumbled in to what works and doesn't work. I give myself to my work. Can I really believe what I've been told? I hate hollow words, they break me into pieces and shatter my understanding. I try not to receive everything that's said in the room. I mean there are no rules to violate, I think they are just trying to reassure me. False hopes or hollow words are sometimes hard to toss in the wind later. I want to believe them! I'm moving through a living network. I want to co-create with the story teller. Common sense doesn't always surface. Instead I've allowed someone to tinker with my mind and that gets my head all messy!

Feeling Shaky; In search of an auditioning network

Last Monday I was driving West out of Houston, on Tuesday I headed North on I-75, on Thursday, I took a new route to Ft. Worth running Northwest through dry flat sweetgrass. Each audition is as exciting and thriling as an exotic vacation. On arrival I join the bloodstream of other actors. we're all there to help someone tell their story. What an intoxicating thought, "I've been asked to come to give voice and movement to the story tellers character." "They want me!" It's usually over within a few moments, but I never leave unchanged. As soon as I'm back in my car, I drive half blind, still caught up in the experience. Still so fresh, I can adjust each word and body movement under my magnifying glass. After clearing my thought back on the Interstate, there's nothing before me but hope.

As the week comes around so many things and decisions made become questionable. Something is happening to me. I'm thrown into a spiral of my experiences. Will I get a call-back? Was I excellent in my work? " Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before those of

significance, not before the unknown." Proverbs 22:29 I start feeling disoriented. But I know I cannot be the only actor to experience Shaky! Where are their stories? Not that I'm going to live through something exactly the way anyone else has, but if I could see their map, to show me how they deal with the 'wait', then I can take my own steps.

Once again, Agent calls, and I'm OFF! Isaiah 55:12 " You shall go out with joy and be led by peace; the mountain and the hills shall break forth with singing , the trees on the interstate shall clap their hands."

Drifting ... Thoughts when running

When I run, wonderful thoughts drift through my mind! I've been on the bench for 9 months and now I'm back on the trail! It's so wonderful to have God's creative power surging through my mind again as I run. "I can do all things through Christ!" "I am a tree planted by the water, my leaves never die, I produce beautiful fruit, and everything I do prospers." "He sends His angels before my to prepare my way." "I excel in my work, I will stand before those of significance." I confess HIS powerful WORD drifting in my spirit as I run like the wind. "He can make a way where there is no way." "Call things that are not, as though they were." As an actor, His Word is my strength and shield! "He has set my feet on a shining path."

On set, in the midst of chaos, I remind myself of God's supernatural ways. It all starts by getting the Word in my heart and renewing my mind and recalling it by saying it. That happens so easily when I run. He can open up infinite possibilities for you if you store His Word in your heart. Start to believe that impossible things can happen everyday! Let His thoughts DRIFT through your spirit.

Thank you that I can run again!!!!!!

I am your unique expression.

Acting in the Texas Triangle

It's June 19?!?!? Wow, where did the time go? I've been busy burning up the Texas Highway. I call it the Texas Triangle. Dallas, Houston, Austin.

I had a great commercial shoot in Austin for a Craft Product. I even got to sing! I love to sing, and this was so unexpected. I love Action Figure Productions for giving me this opportunity. If you have it on your reseme' be ready to show that skill off! Don't hold back on any opportunity. Be your own Showbiz Parent, and promote yourself!

I also did a Sleep Infomercial in Dallas for "REM-z Sleep Shot." The reverse of the energy shot. Lots of fun pretending to sleep badly and then pretending to sleep like a baby. Also got to use my new Audio Prompter skill. Afterwards I hung out with the Director and played his guitar and sang a little. He said he loved my voice and maybe I could do a jungle fot the product, we'll see. There again I got to sing because I just picked up the guitar and let it out.

Just wraped two week end shoots for the feature "Shut You Blog Off". I'm a pretty wicked News Reporter, Amy. Great fun and learned so much about working in a 7 person scene. Thank you Houston for doing a film in my area for once!

In the last 3 months I've had new headshots made, passed my Audio Prompter test with one of my agencies, Finished the work I just mentioned and had numerous auditions. I think my talent is there, I feel like I really nail every one! Sometimes it's just not the right look or age preference or couple chemistry. I just keep at it! If you have a dream., never give up!

I keep professing all the things I want. That's important! SAYING it !!! Not thinking it. SAYING it. I talk to myself a lot and that's a good thing. Maifestation of my words are framing my life!

Motion On Screen - Instincts

Last week I had an auditon for a Casino. I was to create a Character with no dialog, then 'freeze' frame for the characters signature. Motion on screen with no dialog. As an actor, your instincts have to be reliable. Sometimes you may take a risk and fail, but overall you need to know you can trust your gut. Only thing is, you have to use them (instincts) to keep them reliable. You have to learn to think and turn on a dime. My best advice for this flexablity is IMPROV! I'm not a big fan, but... it does help hone that inner judgement. If you don't have an improv class offered in your area, I suggest you invite some of your acting buddies over for some improv games. You will learn to use your inner promptings for all the characters you create.

How to handle Rejection - CELEBRATE !

Ok. So last week, I get a call from my agent late Thursday night. A Casting Director has requested me for an audition for a State chained food store. I'm thrilled! I drive to Austin, elated! I've worked the copy over and over, but it's quite a tongue twister! I arrive, wait to be called in. "Kay, you're next!" ... I was about as fluent as Elmer Fud! Being kind to myself, I was a little rusty. See, I've been booked out for a little more than 4 months. This was my first audition since early Sept. '08.

Today were the call backs, of course I didn't get one. I started to imagine what the C.D. must be thinking of me. 'She's was suppose to be good, I wonder what happened to her!' And on and on the game goes.

Then I thought of all the things I have. Hope, a vision, plans, dreams, a beautiful daughter, lovely home, a place in life that I can actully persue my craft and career. Before I knew it I was CELEBRATING!!!

I bet she'll call me in again! Yipee!!!!

It's NOT about the WORDS

As actors the first thing we do is read the script and deal with the Words. But when the author writes the script the last ingredient are the words. He first thinks of the character through experiences, thoughts, ideas, observations and emotions. The last thing is putting those things into words on paper. So as an actor we have to work backwards. As the actor we add our body and voice, the only thing we are capable of creating externally. Internally we have to go back to the Character Backstory to determine how this individual forms thoughts and feelings. Human behavior trumps the words everytime.

I've been working on honing my skill with the Audio (ear) Prompter. Even there, Who am I? What do I think and feel about what I'm saying. Practiceing and rehearsing is all about exploring and tweaking through improvisation and choices. Then the WORDS.

It's

Character Suggestion for Audition

Character Breakdown

This blog will help you do a Character Breakdown and will be the beginning of your Character Study. Be thorough and excellent. Use a large vocabulary, useing 3 to 5 sentences for each topic. Pay close attention to emotion. Every emotion comes from either being loved or unloved. Build the character as your best friend. If not, you'll do YOU every time, this will limit you. This system allows you to build a character thats unique everytime, which will bring success and longevity.

1. What is your first positive childhood memory? (Should be early years between 4 or 5, maybe sooner.)
2. What is your first negative childhood memory?
3. What is your greatest hope?
4. What is your greatest fear?
5. Your greatest strength?
6. Your greatest weakness?
7. Your vice? (Anything complusive or addictive that is a hindrance to your life.)
8. What kind of sense of humor do you have? (How does it affect others responce to you?)
9. What are your good habits?
10. What are your bad habits?
11. What is your favorite color?
12. What is your favorite song? (It has to fit the year of the script.)
13. What is your favorite book? (This is very important in Period pieces.)
14. What is your favorite holiday?
15. Who is your favorite parent?
16. Your siblings?
17. Who were your grandparents?
18. Any pets?
19. What is your favorite food?
20. What is your most hated food?
21. Are you Heterosexual or Homo-Sexual?
22. Who do you admire most, Men or Women?
23. Are you sexually active?
24. Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?
25. Are you conservative or liberal?
26. Are you spiritual?
27. Are you benevolent?
28. Are you moral?
29. Are you sane or insane?
30. Do others like you?
31. Do you like yourself?
32. Do you night dream? (Are they mostly good or bad?)
33. What are your goals?
34.What are your natural given talents?
35. What will you be like when you are old?
36. What will your Obituary say?

When you go in to audition wear clothes that make sense for the character. Never wear a costume. Always wear the "shoes" the character would wear.

Some Where Out There

I'm writing for actors who can't think of doing anything else. How do you keep the dream alive? How do you find hope from one audition to another? Believe anyway! Failures only set you up for a lesson learned and propel you forward. Successes set you up for confidence and enough faith to continue. I confess I desperately want to be a working actor. Most days I have the energy to work hard and exist on my hope. Other days I remember only the rejections and how bad my acting must be. Memory can be a tricky companion at times. I try not to be too skeptical. I want to move forward even in the times I feel completely ridiculous. I needed a place to go, to vent, to share, and encourage others to keep at it. Somewhere Out There. My acting will be noticed, I'll excell in my work and be sought after by those of significance.