Actor's Journal

Jett & GG Had a Big Time!

2011-10-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful visit in Dallas with my precious baby Jett. Got home in time for an audition in a SAG film starring Will Farrell. I was a lower middle class wife watching TV. Yay! Please I hope I book this one! It was also my daughter's Birthday and I made her Caramel Apples.

This afternoon till early evening I'll be on set shooting "The Order Of Things"! So happy to be filming.

New Day

2011-09-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today feels like a new day! After being sequestered at home since my husband retired. ARRRGHRRED!!!!! I'm off to Dallas to spend a few days with Baby Jett and time away from words that scar.

I had a great audition last week for an Industrial. It shoots the end of October, which I hope so much I book! Then I a film role I booked for Oct. 6,7, & 8. That will be wonderful. I love that I get to keep doing what I love!

This is my Waitress Character I'll be for the film "The Order Of Things". Can't wait to bring her to life.

This is the Character I'm hoping to book for the Osteoporosis Industrial I auditioned for last week.

For now, This is where I'm headed. To spend 4 days with my precious Grand Son Jett! Yea!
God you are so good to me.

Cover Girl At Last

2011-06-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

As a teenager I thought, What a thrill it would be to land on the cover of "Seventeen Magazine". Now in my 50's I made the cover of a different, yet very significant magazine, "Texas Monthly". I'm posing as a Texas Politician in the July 2011 issue. Very cool. God is always surprizing me with special bookings and great exposure.

Characterture or Character ?

2011-06-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

I filmed an awesome scene a week or so ago. However, the make-up gal went a little overboard trying to make me LOOK crass. My character is "The Crass Woman", but the words she says, the attitude she has, lets the camera know that subtley. I hope at the screening coming up I'm not too dissapointed. I always an adversion to hair and make-up folk. I know how to create my characters AND myself better than they do. Sometimes in the biz if you protest, you are considered 'hard to deal with'. So I give in and then beat myself up about it later. UURRRGGGGG!!!!

Beginner - Novice

2011-05-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

Okay two years ago I decided to learn to use the "Audio Prompter". I'd heard there was a lot of work out there for this skill. So I studied, worked hard, walked around with an earpiece continually. I even had to audition this new skill for my agent. So time passes with no audition for such and I forget all about it. THEN ... I received an audition notice for an Audio Prompter Industrial!!!! Yikes!!!! Get the script loaded on my prompter, which took about 60 tries till I thought it sounded conversational. Then worked all evening with my "Flip" camera to make sure I was pulling it off in front of the lens, Very tricky actually. Arrived at my audition, truly nervous but confident.

I NAILED IT!!!!

MOVIE STAR DAY!

2011-04-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed in so many ways! My friends get gifts and then bless me with using their gift. So the case of AnnMarie's birthday present. A professional camera that rocked my pictures out of the park yesterday! Thank you for being so generous to me AnnMarie!

You made me feel like a MOVIE STAR!

Watch for me !!!

2011-04-25T07:48:00.000-07:00

Watch for me this Friday, April 29, at 7:00 pm on NBC! I'll be Ms. Rene on "Friday Night Lights" episode #503, directed by David Boyd.

Been busy sending out Postcards to Casting Directors. Hopefully I'll get called in for some auditions in the coming weeks.

I had a wonderful time in Dallas for a week as "GG" with my grandson "Jett". What a joy He is in my life.

Yesterday was Easter. Church was wonderful with Alan singing and playing the Sax. He rocked it!

My thought for the day: "With man it is impossible, BUT with God All Things are possible." Possible here is Dynamos! Meaning with God's dynamic Power He can take me from obscure to highly sought after actress in a nano second!

It's all good!

March is my Birthday Month

2011-03-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

Don't cry because it's Over,
Smile because it Happened.

Yes, my last year in this decade.

LAYER

2011-02-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

There are so many layered Characters inside me! I thank GOD I can walk around in the shoes of these women.

Some I love and some I love to leave behind.

Sideshow

2011-01-31T12:10:00.000-08:00

Sideshow is a film I just finished shooting. It's about crimes of passion. My shoot was awesome! I learned a lot, mostly more surety in my own abilities. I connected with new actors, refilled my inspiration levels, and laughed so hard at times I had to remind myself about the seriousness of the work I was doing. My scenes came so natural, the weather was perfect for bike riding scene, the entire day was beautiful and magic.

I'm not sure exactly how I even came to be a part of this film. I pretty much believe in everything. This is not so easy as it sounds, some days I find myself disappointed, actually a lot of the time. So things all lining up is a fine little surprise when it comes about. It is good to know I was right about Angels .

On Sunday we met to take a cast photo for the poster. After the photo, we were asked to sing a bit of the theme song as our character would. Awesome! I sang as Martha. I didn't sing as well as I actually can
because I was a little nervous. But I sang it with a breakable heart, one drop away from tears, sad, but soft and graceful as Martha would. I found her. I get it.

Shreveport the Shift Shaper

2011-01-21T15:07:00.000-08:00

Went to Shreveport last week to audition for a film. Too cold to roll the windows down and let my hair slap my face, I would have loved it! I drove across Texas early morning with Charles Capps encouraging me to see the unseen, dream the dream God put in my heart. The sky hung low and gray, tufts of snow and ice sprinkled the sides of the Louisiana highway.All in head were scenes from movies that had not yet been made and songs unsung, that I sang with beautiful voice God gifted me. I think looking back - that trip was meant to be escapist for me, but all the way as the tires spun round and round, I thought of how happy I was to go back to a place I truly love to show off in.That's where Scott Marshall said to me after my read, "Very nicely done!" I don't know if he ever mentioned me to his Dad Gary, or his aunt Penny, maybe he did.
I drove with my back against the seat of the Toyota Camry cultivating the uncanny mind sweeping thoughts that now take up most of my days - thoughts that it has to be! Maybe not everyone thinks this much and at this intensity all the time. Studying God's Word, speaking it, believing, waiting expectantly for the manifestations.

I'm gonna make you WANT to be with me 2011! Walkin around the house like a Movie Star, smiling to myself about the sheer beauty of being an actress. Calling things that are not manifested in the natural realm, as though they were manifest in the natural realm, until they are manifest in the natural realm. God did the same thing! He called things that are not as though they were.

Happy New Year

2011-01-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

This New Year has started out great! I've already had one film audition, with one more on Thursday evening. I have a booking for a witness re-enactment on Thursday and Friday as well! I've been to a great New Year Gathering and now Lonna & Jett are coming in for the week end.

Friends are so important. I have some of the best, I'm so grateful for such unexpected blessings.

I love you 2011 !!!

La Tee Dah

2010-12-02T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today wasn't so bad. Went Christmas shopping at the outlet mall. It's a rewarding feeling to buy a gift for someone you know is perfect for them knowing that they'll love it. I'm usually not a good gift buyer. I mean I just don't know what people want unless they tell me. anyhoo..... I'm also knee deep in husband as of late. He's approaching retirement. I'm a self assured woman of class and age, I don't need someone looking over my shoulder. FOREVER ...more powerful than a shot gun pointed at your chest.

But all and all today wasn't so bad.

Wish I Didn't Need Food : Barbie Didn't

2010-11-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

Approaching the Holidays makes me sad without the Food Issue. So I am writing to mysellf today. Kay, you do NOT have to eat things people offer you, nor do you have to bake or cook things for others. Take a walk, Journal, Get a Pedicure, Look at Baby Jett's pictures, anything can take up 15 min and then it passes. You are up 5 lbs since last year at this time. So TODAY you are on your way back to 2009's Holiday weight! Yea! Barbie I love you!!! You look marvelous! I want to look like you !

Missing Baby Jett

2010-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Jett is Home in Dallas,
GG's Heartsick in Houston,

Love Stretches across Texas .

No MORE extra work ... ever !!!!

2010-10-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I appear fabulously 'together' while underneath I am unraveling. Like the other day being background for "The Preachers Daughter" as The Well To-Do Lush. A favor to my sweet friend but it's an unraveling to a working actor. So it's hightime I confess, with God as my witness, "I will never do extra work again!"

"Bernie" Audition in Austin, Finally !

2010-09-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

Okay ..... I finally got THE audition I've been waiting for. A chance to be in the Richard Linklater film "Bernie"!!!! It stars Shirley McClain and Jack Black. I've been boldly asking both my agents to submit me. Then I found a self submission page which I submitted two very different tapes of my own created characters. Well finally, my Dallas Agent called Monday night saying I was to go to a Straight To Director Audition the next day! I had quite a few lines to learn but I took off to Austin on Tuesday Sept. 14th. It went pretty well. I was to be a "Proper" lady who talks from her back porch. I did get a little tongue twisted on two words, "genuinely" and "proclivities"..... I saw Richard Linklater out of the corner of my eye, he looked a little "WTHey?" But I think I did well overall and this will also be cast for a "Look". I shall see!!! I've been quoting Proverbs 22:29 "Do you see someone who excels in their work? They will not work for the obscure, but for the significant." On the drive back to Houston, I thought, "I just stood before a six time Oscar winning Director and an Emmy winning Casting Director. The words I've been speaking have led me to where I am today. Keeping positive words in my mouth is so important! Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

Emmy Scrumptious

2010-08-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

The three of us actresses arrived at Studio "G" in need of soul resuscitation, after a long week of auditions ourselves, found pure pleasure. Glasses of wine were poured, hot tub was bubbleing, gift bags handed out, flat screen TV on the patio and dinner on the grill. My two friends are as big of camera whores as I am. We tote them everywhere! Thought you might want to see our Emmy night under the big Texas outdoor starry sky.

DOUBLE

2010-07-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

Life is so wonderful and full! I wish there were two of me so I could get more in everyday!!!!

Double/Illustration Friday

Acting Road Trip

2010-07-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

Lines memorized, schedules cleared, we're off to our drug of choice with heads full of sunshine. Saturday Sisters; traveling the sun-kissed Texas Highways. Heads full of personalities, time periods and genre's, yawning our way to workshops, classes and auditions.

Shimmy between the seats for the threadbare sides needed for the afternoon auditions. Arriving to class, crisp scripts handed out by the instructor. Blood rushing through our minds in bursts, like lit firecrackers beneath our skin as we memorize, ground the characters and make the words our own.

First single file into the mock auditions, young, middle aged, ready and half hypnotized. It's exciting and never the same. In a flash, clips are watched and we're relishing in another step toward our craft. Pleased with our critiques, that prop us up like soft pillows on our way to the afternoon's real auditions, number 4 this week!

Patient in the backed up line of actors, we're "UP"! Careful with our performance, remaining in our fulfillment, accomplishments and joyousness our work brings. Comfort is for cowards, we are daring risk-takers; come sweat, dry mouths, nerves and limbs of rubber.

Back in the car driving home, we are ten again, wild and free. Talking, exhilarated, hands gesturing, baptized in the sunbeams going down, trails of ice cream treats clinging to our fingers. For a moment we see the world with wide-eyed wonder. We painted our Masterpiece!

Fourth Of July

2010-07-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

I love the fourth but I never know how they're gonna turn out year to year. Fireman Hubby working today so no pressure to cook traditional food fair. I've gained 3 lbs!!!!!! That may sound like nothing, but do you know how hard it is to change your resume' weight on all my acting web sites? Way to much work. So it's eaiser to loose the 3 lbs back to my resume' weight. So I had a great, albeit differnet Fourth Lunch!

Start w/Sandwich Thins, the ones that are like skinny hamburger buns for 100 cal. Spread a little Marg. on and grill in small skillet, (Fried Bread,what's not to like). I don't like Hummus so I made my own using White Northern Beans, saute'ed oninon & peppers mixed in food processor. Spread 2 Tbs. on half of the grilled (fried) bread, add sprouts, figs and a little drop of that Hot Ketchup stuff, Sriacha. One opened face is only 150 cal!

Giant Leap

2010-07-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today a big beautiful gift fell into my lap. My acting credit for "Friday Night Lights" was posted on my IMDB listing. It's no small thing to get your credits on The Internet Movie Data Base. They check and recheck so you can't say you were in the last Tom Cruise film, now please add that to my credits, when you really weren't. So today I checked my page and there it was!!!!! This is a small thing in the world, but it's a GIANT thing to me! I've trained and nurtured my acting career for many years, all my live in one way or another. This made me quiet down, sit still and enjoy the acknowledgment. When a director or producer looks my name up now, it may create an opening I didn't have before. So I'm excited and awed. July is going to be good!!!!

You can go to http://www.imdb.com/ and search "Kay Salem" and there I am !

New Things Everywhere!

2010-06-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

Wish there were an enchanted pipline that I could update with my thoughts.
I've been so busy with new and wonderful additions to my life!
June 2nd: Beautiful New Grandson, Jett Zimmer 8lb 4oz
June 15: Unexpected New Windfall! IRS owed us $$$$
June 18th: New Auditions! "Drop Dead Diva" and "Direct TV" (Hope I book both!)
July: New Vacation to Akamul, MX !!!!

I've also been traveling around for local auditions and even shot a Wal-Mart commercial yesterday.

Can't wait to see more new things God keeps blessing my life with.

The Universe Is Lining Up For Me!!!!

2010-05-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't bloged in a while. I've been so busy with wonderful things! First of all I finally booked a role on "Friday Night Lights" ! I believe this was my 7th audition. Hey, it takes time!! I'm the School Psycologist, Ms. Rene, the most boring speech giver a teen could hope for. It will air on Direct TV this Fall and on NBC next season about this time. I was so over the moon signing the NBC contracts......

I've had other doors open! I was requested to audition for a nice family film called "Moon Ring". It shoots in Hot Springs, AK this June. I think I've got a really good chance. With the Holy Spirit being my advocate, a top notch agent and I was very prepared in the taped auditon. We'll see!!!

Then I have a GrandSon being born in 2 weeks !!!!! YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH! My heart is so full! Thank you God, ruler of the Universe!

BRAVE - Illustration Friday and Audition Trip

2010-03-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

FOR ARTIST: Watercolor from a Christian Romance Novel. Braving the unknown to carve out a home. Models are two of my girlfriends teens. Now they are both married with children.

FOR ACTORS: Leaving the ho-hum's of suburbia, griping the wheel and blazing straight into my madcap dreams. Driving with hope, wonder and strands of hair blowing in the cold air. Stop at Buc-ees for a Red Bull and praline shaped like the State of Texas. I arrive smiling on a sugar high, eyes bright, sides in the cusp of my palm, completely exposed, yet my nerves are unrattled. I've done this a million times, I'm a stringed marionette, and like a gratuitous puppet I begin. I've temporarily abandoned my depression for a truer sense of being. I'M ACTING!!!!!
This is my social order, I'm in the midst of my tribe, snaking around the soul of my calling. How can I ever do anything else?

It's over? So soon? My exhilaration so full as I leave. Intuitions so raw my spirit howls. I scream back in my car so excited, my one way passage home begins, traveling beneath the vault of heaven and the earth buzzing fast beneath the tires. I travel hundreds of miles to experience the happiest moments I've ever known. My bank account holds only a fist full of funds, all I have is who I am. The heart and soul of a creative artist God saw worth creating. He has told me more than once, "Nothing is foolish that fulfills my passion." Thank you God! Acting, auditioning you are my passion!
ACTING MAKES ME BRAVE!

Big Auditions

2010-02-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

Exhilarating, head-spinning, fabulous auditions lately!

Austin: Yesterday a Big Haired Texas Blonde Drama Queen wife of a conservative pastor. Got to be a little obnovious and wear a ton of make-up.

Houston, last night taped audition: Older, Bleached Blonde, smokers pinched and winkled face with a rasp, dying in Hospice. Coming in and out of Morphine highs and lows, plus a dying scene!!! Such great fun! Got to be very Loopy!!!!

I love acting! It's a perfect self indulgence with very few side effects; mostly sleep deprivation.

Propagate Seed Time and Harvest

2010-02-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

Today was "Love Scene" day in acting class. Lecture was very insightful. Actors must respect the love scene so much because the audience is always extremely interested in it. Embrace it, it HAS to matter. Men, well they're ready all the time. Women, well we're more picky. Both partners must open their hearts in a love scene. Have courage, be brave and totally believable. Thank goodness for The Method, I rocked it! My coach said I was very relaxed, totally believable and happy in love. I'm full of love, acting, painting and ready to make a film about love.

Insightful Film

2010-02-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

So much enlightenment from watching "The Snake Pit" last night. Olivia de Havilliand is wonderful as the woman with a mental illness. What was so insightful was the psycological pointers Dr. Kick gave. The writer was Frank Partos, so I suppose he should get the credit for the awakening I received. So many issues in our adult life stem from our childhoods. If we don't have the insight needed we substitute all sorts of things trying to fix our damage.

God woke me up in the wee hours. I had so many "Ah ha" moments during our time together. I know I am more open for good things to enter my life now! More confidence is flowing through me. Everyday I increase in the knowledge of Him. Now He is showing me insight into my very soul.

Hebrews 10: 35 & 36 I will not throw away my confidence, for with it comes great reward. I will perservere and receive His promises as I follow His will.

Chasing Pavement to Baking Cookies

2010-02-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

I've been up and down the Texas Highways for several weeks. I'm gearing up now for all those call backs and bookings to start rollig in. Tomorrow I'm back in Dallas for a commercial audition.

Today is set with an overcast sky so I thought I'd bake. I had all the ingredients for Oatmeal Cookies, so that's what's in the oven. Such a nice calming experience baking is for me. My house smells yummy too!

Inch by inch, little by little, I move ahead with my acting career. Trying to leave time for family and more balance in my life is not always easy.

Food for thought: "The more random the vision, the more random the outcome. Get a clear vision of where you're going and proceed with the result in mind."

Renewal

2010-01-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

I love fresh starts - RENEWALS - second chances.

Art wise, I sat down the other night with several sketches of various artist and started to doodle. I came up with my renewed version of all the pieces laid out. A mermaid in a champagne glass.

Acting wise, I was just cast in a web series as a Mrs. Robinson type. The character is also a Millionaire, hope I have a nice wardrobe!

Looking forward to 2010.

Pioneer

2009-12-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

I can't remember exactly what this Illustration was for. Sometime in 1991 I did a series of Christian Book covers of Pioneers of the Christian Faith for Barbour Publishing. This must be one. Technique was an experiment of Oil rubbed background with an airbrushed figure. Pioneer country side where the local church was the center of civilization. Rivers flowed languidly, calmly through the woods.The solitary Preacher facing the task before him. Air in his face, heat and strain of the elements, as He rides his horse through the hills, already a hint of arthritis in his finger bones. Gee I'm glad I wasn't born in those days! I'd have been a rather sissy Pioneer!

This guy looks sort of sissy himself though.

UNBALANCED

2009-11-18T11:24:00.001-08:00

Call it a silver lining. Or maybe my ships come in. Thanks to the film industry going to casting "real people" types. I no longer remotely resemble my once glamours days, now I can be a real Character Actor. I auditioned for a "Librarian" last week in a major SAG feature film. This week I fully expect a call-back. I've not been reading tea leaves, but I think I'll book this role. I don't compete with the star in the scene. I now have the ability to go under the radar just enough to not become a silhouette. It's a real talent who can feel unnoticed while still feeling important in the scene. It's a little unbalanced to a trained actor wanting to be discovered to now go in and try to be undetected. Now that's acting! I'm getting this one!!!!!

SKINNY

2009-11-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

Here's the 'Skinny". Did you ever notice how often people say things they don't mean? "I'm a private person." Anyone who is truly a private person doesn't have to say so at all. They just are. My friend AnnMarie and I really look out for each other. Now we don't declare it, or even elude to such. We just do it! I have her best interest at heart and she has mine. That's the 'Skinny". As actresses that's a little unusual too. A few years back I met AnnMarie. She became a true confidant and a monumental giver in my life. Her generosity and similar taste have carved out an urban friendship as comfortable as my rural grandparents home.

Saturday we spent the morning in Austin attending our standard Casting Director acting class. We then each went to an audition. Then we drove down to Austin's resturant area and sat on the patio filled with beautiful weather and beautiful ladies. We ate chips and salsa, laughed and shared more of our dreams as working SAG actors. Non stop talking on the two and half hour drive back to Houston is always a highlight of our time spent sharing our hearts.

FAST

2009-10-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Everything seems to be moving FAST around me. But I'm standing still. Holidays are approaching, life's wizzing by, everything's a b-l-uuu--rrrr.

I'm in a funk that I'd like to escape out of FAST!!!!! Time to get my rear in end in gear.

FROZEN - IF

2009-10-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

My computer keeps "freezing" up!!!! I found this old airbrushed illo. for this weeks submission. Hopefully if I unsubscribe to ads (which seem to be the culpruit), I'll be freed up! Stay Cool!

Flying

2009-10-15T17:50:00.000-07:00

After FLYING in last week it seems all I've done is to continue to FLY around. Getting settled back in after a long vacation. Laundry, e-mails answered, bills paid, last minute auditions, on and on. I don't know quiet what to do with myself. I remembered this old 'airbrushed' illustration I did many years ago. The boy dreaming of flying made me feel peaceful again.

Patterns & Methods

2009-09-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

This watercolor is from a romance novel I painted several years ago. I had so much freedom with this piece. Would I choose watercolor, airbrush, or pastel. For this piece I decided on watercolor. Very much like acting choices. Will I choose The Method, Misner's Technique or pattern a dozen physical quirks to find my way in ? Pick up a small piece of something there, open up an emotion here, I have such freedom! So many patterns and methods!

Breaking Barriers

2009-09-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

Broke through a barrier yesterday! I had prepared for a crying scene audition for 5 days. Yesterday I had to deliver. I wasn't exactly sure if I could pull up what I needed to get to 'the place'. I think I did pretty great! I didn't quite get to the sobbing level I acheived in rehearsal, but overall it was really good. The way in for me was a song. I went in to the hallway. The waiting area was busy and distracting. Once by myself I started to sing softly "Because HE Lives". I can never get to the "I can face the future" part before the words are stuck in my throat. That song along with preparation, preparation, preparation, so much dialog!!! I think I reached a new level of artistic excellence. When I was called in everything was right there, at the ready. Kim Bassinger says, "As an actress, you have to come to a point of jumping over your fears and going through the glass doors." Yes, I walked right through to the other side.

2009-09-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

Awesome things are happening! I've had 4 auditions in 6 days! The journey on the Texas Highways has been rainy but inspiring! I bought the Bible on tape by Gregory Peck. I'm driving , then all of a sudden I'm Scout sitting on the porch swing with Atticus teaching me how to wear the armor of God. Very cool! The sun peeks out every now and then; Just long enough to see a poodle with a ball on it's nose in the clouds, or is that a bear? My first stop on Wed. is the Palormar Hotel in Dallas for a film about Texans in a Texaco ex-pat compound in Trinidad. My character is unhappy and aloof. I think I did great! We'll see. Next day, Thursday, to Arlington where I revealed a lot of things about myself (on tape even) I usually keep private. But it was very freeing! I think I feel better. Friday was a free day in Dallas just strolling and taking in the sights. Saturday was a very Texan baby shower. So many characters, Even got a hair-do for my Texas Secretary character I'll use on Monday. Sunday with Del Shores, "Daddy's Dyin Who's Got The Will?" and "Sordid Lives". WOW !!! Great stuff. Wonderful experience. Drove home on Sunday evening in the gray rain, gray sky and gray road. Definitely need new contacts soon! Today I went to Austin for a "Friday Night Lights" audition. I sure felt like I naled it, I hope so.

Staying in this evening and catching up on home life. Life is good!

Magnified Pale

2009-09-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

September first is magnified in Texas. It's when the air holds the warmth of the summers heat into the afternoons sunlight. Every color turnes into a shade of pale gray. All lonely things are magnified now. There have been no auditions for me since July 7th. I think of Jesus, He knows my thoughts and keeps me from fading away. I don't want to know the future anymore. I only want to erase the soft decay of my dreams, draining the purpose from the marrow of my bones. It's unspoken hope, magnified.

Food For A Hungry Actors' Soul

2009-08-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday I arrived at my early morning Audition Tech. Class wishing I had more energy. It didn't take long before scripts were handed out, the work was taped and we were ready for the playbacks. I felt sorry for all of us as I sat on the green slick sofa, each waiting on our turn. The respected Casting Director began her critique. I nodded each time I agreed with her. She paused the screen to talk about the actors work that had just played. The glaring face on the paused screen was mine. I was next. Play was pushed. My heart was pounding as I prayed silently, "Jesus help me accecpt her words as part of my growth." Pause was pushed, all stared at me. "Kay, what do you think?," came from her tough cigarrette raspy voice. I have to answer, there's nothing I can do about it. "Well, I'm not blinking as much," I answer. She booms out, "Well I would upload that to the producers without any hesitation! Good work Kay!" Play started on the next actors' clip. Now my prayer is, "God help me no to cry." Tears suppressed, I feel as if I were just fed a delicious delicacy. I normally come from a place with a padlock on the pantry. I continue to sit on the green sofa, ankels crossed, posture erect, mind racing, tears supressed trying not to twist things around in my mind. Just remember the tasty words.

After class, I drove over Austin's loopy freeways to a singing class I signed up for on a whim. I've always sang. It's just natural for me. Mostly I sing for myself. Lately I've noticed as I share my voice I'm feeling more confident. Once I put 'singing' on my resume' I'd better have some things on hand to sing!

Adreinne was 50ish, bare footed and full of energy I craved. Her voice began to buzz like flies that wouldn't land. "Follow me, sing this note, make this sound", she began to move vocally as well as squating into plie's. I followed, mocking her sounds and moves, as instructed. Concentrating, actively involved in the 'Simon Says' game, when she stops, turns, head tilted, hands on hips, says, "You have perfect pitch!"

God has entered the room, looked right through me as my tears are flowing this time. "Are you crying because you've never been told that before? Is this your first affirmation? But surely you know this.", her words spilling out, feeding me more. I'm a very hungry soul being fed 'stick-to-your-ribs' meals today!

Then she asked me to sing the jazz song I brought to work on. I do. "What else do you sing?", she asked. I uncomfortably admit, "Well, with my guitar, I sound more like Loretta Lynn." "Ah,Ha! You already have your own style! A jazz-country mix, that's very unique! What a gift you've been given," I'm hearing her say. I continue to devour this meal being served. I have to stop scarfing this! I should try to cut it up in small divided cubes, eat it slowly, take it in, feel the calories filling my emotions, entering my hearts bloodstream, undiluted, making me high! I'm no longer in the room with the locked out food supply. Hunger will not dominate my every moment . I am full, I'm fed with the mana from God! Thank you Lord!

Rehearse, MODIFY, Audition, MODIFY, Camera Ready!

2009-07-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

Being prepared requires a lot of Auditions, Rehearsing, Modifications and Tweaking. If you walk away from an audition and don't feel 100% sure of yourself, you most likely were not prepared enough. I have an audition today! I've been modifing my character for 3 days. I'll even tweak her and flesh her out a little more today. Whatever you're doing, if you're focused exactly on the task, that's preparation. It's a way of being very peaceful and confident in bringing your character to live. If you don't book the role, that's because of something outside your control, a look , a match to the other actors, whatever.

This was a pencil for an educational magazine.

IDLE

2009-07-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

It ran across my mind today, driving Hwy 290 to Austin and back, for an acting workshop, that I have 'Idle" time! What a luxury... albeit I may be driving these idle times, but they still exsist. Thing is, my mind is NEVER idle. Today for instance, I learned two new songs, a few more scriptures, wrote and tweaked a one woman show! In the car I'm a star ! I'm never Idle.

Back in 2003 I did this watercolor. These were days when I had no idle time, only deadlines to meet! It was for a romance novel. My model was perfectly idle, the setting was calm, almost sacred, I loved the finished art.

TANGO !!!!

2009-07-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

I usually try and combine the Illustration Friday word prompt with my Acting Blog once a week. This week the word is "Tango". How perfect! Finding just the right dance partner! Just the right role! Just the right Director! It all has to flow to be compelling enough to keep the audience engaged. When the audition comes and you walk in to perform in one sweeping motion, you know it's excellent. You've prepared and practiced every dance move in the scene over and over. Now the Director has the call backs. He has to love the way you move, the way your voice sounds, the way you look for the part, who you are in his dance.

Recently I was dissapointed to learn about a role I wanted that was being offered to a real veteran actress. The same week I learned I got the part playing a veteran actress in another movie! A lot of twirlling's involved in this acting dance.

Keep smiling, drawing and dancing with the stars!

Hollow Words

2009-07-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

To the flatterer speaking hollow words is just part of the routine I guess. To an actor, they're messing with my life! As an actor, I've worked hard to find a process into the character, living their life and trying to connect to the wholness of the story in a 3 minute audition; even though I have only a part of the story to share. Over the years I've painstakingly discovered as well as radomly stumbled in to what works and doesn't work. I give myself to my work. Can I really believe what I've been told? I hate hollow words, they break me into pieces and shatter my understanding. I try not to receive everything that's said in the room. I mean there are no rules to violate, I think they are just trying to reassure me. False hopes or hollow words are sometimes hard to toss in the wind later. I want to believe them! I'm moving through a living network. I want to co-create with the story teller. Common sense doesn't always surface. Instead I've allowed someone to tinker with my mind and that gets my head all messy!

Feeling Shaky; In search of an auditioning network

2009-07-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Last Monday I was driving West out of Houston, on Tuesday I headed North on I-75, on Thursday, I took a new route to Ft. Worth running Northwest through dry flat sweetgrass. Each audition is as exciting and thriling as an exotic vacation. On arrival I join the bloodstream of other actors. we're all there to help someone tell their story. What an intoxicating thought, "I've been asked to come to give voice and movement to the story tellers character." "They want me!" It's usually over within a few moments, but I never leave unchanged. As soon as I'm back in my car, I drive half blind, still caught up in the experience. Still so fresh, I can adjust each word and body movement under my magnifying glass. After clearing my thought back on the Interstate, there's nothing before me but hope.

As the week comes around so many things and decisions made become questionable. Something is happening to me. I'm thrown into a spiral of my experiences. Will I get a call-back? Was I excellent in my work? " Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before those of

significance, not before the unknown." Proverbs 22:29 I start feeling disoriented. But I know I cannot be the only actor to experience Shaky! Where are their stories? Not that I'm going to live through something exactly the way anyone else has, but if I could see their map, to show me how they deal with the 'wait', then I can take my own steps.

Once again, Agent calls, and I'm OFF! Isaiah 55:12 " You shall go out with joy and be led by peace; the mountain and the hills shall break forth with singing , the trees on the interstate shall clap their hands."

Drifting ... Thoughts when running

2009-06-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

When I run, wonderful thoughts drift through my mind! I've been on the bench for 9 months and now I'm back on the trail! It's so wonderful to have God's creative power surging through my mind again as I run. "I can do all things through Christ!" "I am a tree planted by the water, my leaves never die, I produce beautiful fruit, and everything I do prospers." "He sends His angels before my to prepare my way." "I excel in my work, I will stand before those of significance." I confess HIS powerful WORD drifting in my spirit as I run like the wind. "He can make a way where there is no way." "Call things that are not, as though they were." As an actor, His Word is my strength and shield! "He has set my feet on a shining path."

On set, in the midst of chaos, I remind myself of God's supernatural ways. It all starts by getting the Word in my heart and renewing my mind and recalling it by saying it. That happens so easily when I run. He can open up infinite possibilities for you if you store His Word in your heart. Start to believe that impossible things can happen everyday! Let His thoughts DRIFT through your spirit.

Thank you that I can run again!!!!!!

I am your unique expression.

Acting in the Texas Triangle

2009-06-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's June 19?!?!? Wow, where did the time go? I've been busy burning up the Texas Highway. I call it the Texas Triangle. Dallas, Houston, Austin.

I had a great commercial shoot in Austin for a Craft Product. I even got to sing! I love to sing, and this was so unexpected. I love Action Figure Productions for giving me this opportunity. If you have it on your reseme' be ready to show that skill off! Don't hold back on any opportunity. Be your own Showbiz Parent, and promote yourself!

I also did a Sleep Infomercial in Dallas for "REM-z Sleep Shot." The reverse of the energy shot. Lots of fun pretending to sleep badly and then pretending to sleep like a baby. Also got to use my new Audio Prompter skill. Afterwards I hung out with the Director and played his guitar and sang a little. He said he loved my voice and maybe I could do a jungle fot the product, we'll see. There again I got to sing because I just picked up the guitar and let it out.

Just wraped two week end shoots for the feature "Shut You Blog Off". I'm a pretty wicked News Reporter, Amy. Great fun and learned so much about working in a 7 person scene. Thank you Houston for doing a film in my area for once!

In the last 3 months I've had new headshots made, passed my Audio Prompter test with one of my agencies, Finished the work I just mentioned and had numerous auditions. I think my talent is there, I feel like I really nail every one! Sometimes it's just not the right look or age preference or couple chemistry. I just keep at it! If you have a dream., never give up!

I keep professing all the things I want. That's important! SAYING it !!! Not thinking it. SAYING it. I talk to myself a lot and that's a good thing. Maifestation of my words are framing my life!

Motion On Screen - Instincts

2009-02-23T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last week I had an auditon for a Casino. I was to create a Character with no dialog, then 'freeze' frame for the characters signature. Motion on screen with no dialog. As an actor, your instincts have to be reliable. Sometimes you may take a risk and fail, but overall you need to know you can trust your gut. Only thing is, you have to use them (instincts) to keep them reliable. You have to learn to think and turn on a dime. My best advice for this flexablity is IMPROV! I'm not a big fan, but... it does help hone that inner judgement. If you don't have an improv class offered in your area, I suggest you invite some of your acting buddies over for some improv games. You will learn to use your inner promptings for all the characters you create.

How to handle Rejection - CELEBRATE !

2009-02-13T13:05:00.000-08:00

Ok. So last week, I get a call from my agent late Thursday night. A Casting Director has requested me for an audition for a State chained food store. I'm thrilled! I drive to Austin, elated! I've worked the copy over and over, but it's quite a tongue twister! I arrive, wait to be called in. "Kay, you're next!" ... I was about as fluent as Elmer Fud! Being kind to myself, I was a little rusty. See, I've been booked out for a little more than 4 months. This was my first audition since early Sept. '08.

Today were the call backs, of course I didn't get one. I started to imagine what the C.D. must be thinking of me. 'She's was suppose to be good, I wonder what happened to her!' And on and on the game goes.

Then I thought of all the things I have. Hope, a vision, plans, dreams, a beautiful daughter, lovely home, a place in life that I can actully persue my craft and career. Before I knew it I was CELEBRATING!!!

I bet she'll call me in again! Yipee!!!!

It's NOT about the WORDS

2009-02-05T08:43:00.002-08:00

As actors the first thing we do is read the script and deal with the Words. But when the author writes the script the last ingredient are the words. He first thinks of the character through experiences, thoughts, ideas, observations and emotions. The last thing is putting those things into words on paper. So as an actor we have to work backwards. As the actor we add our body and voice, the only thing we are capable of creating externally. Internally we have to go back to the Character Backstory to determine how this individual forms thoughts and feelings. Human behavior trumps the words everytime.

I've been working on honing my skill with the Audio (ear) Prompter. Even there, Who am I? What do I think and feel about what I'm saying. Practiceing and rehearsing is all about exploring and tweaking through improvisation and choices. Then the WORDS.

It's

2009-02-05T08:43:00.001-08:00

Character Suggestion for Audition

2009-02-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

Character Breakdown

2009-02-02T10:52:00.000-08:00

This blog will help you do a Character Breakdown and will be the beginning of your Character Study. Be thorough and excellent. Use a large vocabulary, useing 3 to 5 sentences for each topic. Pay close attention to emotion. Every emotion comes from either being loved or unloved. Build the character as your best friend. If not, you'll do YOU every time, this will limit you. This system allows you to build a character thats unique everytime, which will bring success and longevity.

1. What is your first positive childhood memory? (Should be early years between 4 or 5, maybe sooner.)
2. What is your first negative childhood memory?
3. What is your greatest hope?
4. What is your greatest fear?
5. Your greatest strength?
6. Your greatest weakness?
7. Your vice? (Anything complusive or addictive that is a hindrance to your life.)
8. What kind of sense of humor do you have? (How does it affect others responce to you?)
9. What are your good habits?
10. What are your bad habits?
11. What is your favorite color?
12. What is your favorite song? (It has to fit the year of the script.)
13. What is your favorite book? (This is very important in Period pieces.)
14. What is your favorite holiday?
15. Who is your favorite parent?
16. Your siblings?
17. Who were your grandparents?
18. Any pets?
19. What is your favorite food?
20. What is your most hated food?
21. Are you Heterosexual or Homo-Sexual?
22. Who do you admire most, Men or Women?
23. Are you sexually active?
24. Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?
25. Are you conservative or liberal?
26. Are you spiritual?
27. Are you benevolent?
28. Are you moral?
29. Are you sane or insane?
30. Do others like you?
31. Do you like yourself?
32. Do you night dream? (Are they mostly good or bad?)
33. What are your goals?
34.What are your natural given talents?
35. What will you be like when you are old?
36. What will your Obituary say?

When you go in to audition wear clothes that make sense for the character. Never wear a costume. Always wear the "shoes" the character would wear.

Some Where Out There

2009-01-30T15:15:00.000-08:00

I'm writing for actors who can't think of doing anything else. How do you keep the dream alive? How do you find hope from one audition to another? Believe anyway! Failures only set you up for a lesson learned and propel you forward. Successes set you up for confidence and enough faith to continue. I confess I desperately want to be a working actor. Most days I have the energy to work hard and exist on my hope. Other days I remember only the rejections and how bad my acting must be. Memory can be a tricky companion at times. I try not to be too skeptical. I want to move forward even in the times I feel completely ridiculous. I needed a place to go, to vent, to share, and encourage others to keep at it. Somewhere Out There. My acting will be noticed, I'll excell in my work and be sought after by those of significance.